Friday, January 27, 2017

One Month


I am amazed by how fast this first month flew by, and honestly I am surprised by how much easier it was this time around. I normally tell new parents that the first month is the hardest- because everyone is finding their groove, and while we still had to find our groove (let's be honest, we are still working on finding our groove) Adeline's first month lacked the same levels of anxiety and stress that Cordelia's did. I'm not saying there weren't moments where I cried from exhaustion, but we have survived having a newborn before and we can do it again. 


Knowing how fleeting the newborn stage is makes me hold tighter to my newborn babe. I know the hours of holding her while she sleeps will soon disappear and knowing this makes it easier to remember that the dishes don't matter and the vacuuming doesn't have to get done. I still struggle with the lack of "productivity" some days, but mostly I just smell Adeline's sweet baby smell and tell myself to take a chill pill. 


It's funny, everywhere we go people ask the same two questions: "how old is the baby" and "oh how does she sleep". Well she sleeps like a month old baby- whenever she wants to and not always at night. Cordelia was a much better sleeper, but Adeline is at least sorting out her days and nights- well mostly. She wakes up about three or four times a night (depending on where you draw the line between when a day ends and when it starts). Her four am party hour (where she wakes up and wants to visit) can be especially hard. She is happy, but four am is not my best hour. 


The sleep thing is pretty hard on me because I am not a napper by nature- I tend to wake up groggy and confused when I nap so I don't make up for the lost sleep when Adeline sleeps during the day and Cordelia is at school. My own mind gets in the way of sleep more than Adeline does- I have a hard time winding myself down in between her feedings in the middle of the night- or even worse when I have a hard time falling asleep at all because I know she will wake up soonish. This leads me to writing blog posts at three am instead of sleeping, and the lack of sleep can be hard on my moral. When I am  tired my inner critic is able to shout louder and I have to work extra hard at keeping my own anxieties and depressions in check. 


What else can I tell you about month one? Adeline weighed in at 9 pounds and 8 ounces, she is starting to be a little bit more alert, and has a crazy case of baby acne. The baby acne makes me nuts because I want to "fix" it, I want to do something, but all I can do is wait it out- which I'm kinda bad at. I made her this dress while I was pregnant- its a little geranium dress - which is a free pattern by Made by Rae. I had so much fun making newborn sized geraniums I bought the big kid sized pattern so I can make Cordelia some too- ya know, in my free time ;-)

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