Thursday, April 20, 2017

Having Thin Skin

During an argument recently I was told "Katie, you need to stop being so thin skinned"- which honestly is probably the dumbest way to try to resolve an issue with anyone, especially me, because yes I have thin skin, and I know that. I feel everything soo deeply- and you know what I'm ok with it. 

 TV commercials make me cry, emotional movies haunt me for days,  I have to work extra hard to see the "constructive" in constructive criticism, I struggle to make everything I work on perfect so it can be appreciated by others, I care deeply what other people think. Sure these all sound like negative things, and while the person working to insult me obviously sees my "thin skin" as a weakness I can tell you it is one of my strengths. Being thin skinned makes me sensitive and I wouldn't give that up. 

Being sensitive lets me feel everything, not just the soul crushingly terrible things in life, but the absolute beauty of Adeline's laugh- a sound so beautiful I feel as if my heart is being squeezed. I feel pride so intense over Cordelia's creativity I feel as if I might stop breathing for a moment. I feel love so deeply I would give anything for my family.  

 My sensitivity is one of the things that makes me a good friend- I care when my friends hurt, I notice when I come home and the people I share my home with are lonely- making it so that even if I am rushed and have 100 things to do- I stop and talk and try to make them feel better. My sensitivity makes me a good mother- allowing me to feel and understand the emotions of my five year old when she is tired or my four month old when she cries and cries. I give my all to relationships, and I am proud of that.

Nanea Hoffman said "if anyone ever dismisses you for being too sensitive, ask yourself this: who is more fragile? The person who is brave enough to say when something hurts? Or the person who cannot apologize or admit to having caused pain?" 

I am glad I am not as "thick skinned" and as insensitive as those who lash out at me and seek to make me feel bad. I will not apologize for being sensitive, I will not apologize for being willing to show or express my emotions- because my sensitivity and my emotions make me who I am, and honestly if you don't like who I am I'm really just fine seeing you go. 

Wednesday, April 12, 2017

Four Months

Adeline, It's been four months since you have joined our family- that equates to 126 days, 3,024 hours, and 181,440 minutes- well give or take a few because lets be honest, my math isn't that wonderful. 

Since you came into our lives you have grown by five inches and six pounds, but that doesn't compare to how big our hearts have grown, especially your sister- your sister loves you more than anything in this world. 

This past month has been hard on our family but you have thrived despite it. You smile and smile for us, you still have a resting grump face when you are checking things out around you, but I have never met a more happy baby. You are our constant reminder that things will be ok- they have to be. 

This month we discovered that you love to watch Sesame Street- especially the singing, you squeal and dance right along with Elmo, Grover, and Zoe.

I'm not sure if you noticed the drool all over your shirt or not, but that has been a development this month too- lots of drool and soo much chewing, and man do you have strong jaws!

Today as I was taking your photo you kept squealing and chattering, I have so many recordings of you talking because I never want to forget what your baby voice sounded like and because when I play the videos for you you talk to yourself! You talk so intensely that I think you really must know the answers to everything and you really want me to know them, but I just don't speak the same language! 

I know this post isn't as lengthy as I normally shoot for, but Thanks for being you kid, thanks for making us so happy.