Saturday, June 3, 2017

Dear Cordelia, Welcome to Six

Dear Cordelia, do you want to hear something crazy? You are six! Normally when I write these posts I talk about how weird it is that you are as old as you are- but right now it feels totally natural that you are six. I feel like you have been a part of our lives forever- in fact I am not quite sure who I was before I was your mother. 

It's taken me a month to write this post, I kept fumbling my words trying to express my feelings about how you have grown this past year. We have faced so many challenges this, and so many things have changed, but as I read last year's letter I was reminded that your strongest and most powerful attribute has stayed the same. You, my dear, are the most compassionate and empathetic kid I know.  

I have seen examples of your empathy multiple times this past year, but the one that  always comes to my mind first was your reaction the evening after Papa and I told you I was pregnant. As I was putting you to bed I asked you again how you felt about it, you said "well I'm a little disappointed" my heart sank a bit thinking that you would tell me you didn't want a baby sister or brother but  you said "have you and Papa known this whole time and didn't tell me? is that why you have been so sick?". Mind you we were only eight weeks pregnant when we told you- so it's not like we kept it from you forever, but honestly I didn't realize that you recognized that I was so sick but you are so aware of what other people are feeling and you notice and you care so much. 

In August you started school- this was a big change for us. Having never been to day care this was the first time you would spend all day with people who weren't family. I was petrified you wouldn't understand the structure of school and it would be hard for you to learn that you had to follow their schedule. However, first day of school you went in and loved it. Every day you come home knowing new things like force and matter and what a noun is- and you explain them to me with great enthusiasm.

  On Friday you always ask what you will do in school the next day and I have to remind you that there is no school on Saturday- and every week you are super disappointed. 

School has been such an experience. This is the first time in your life that you have picked your own friends instead of me picking them based on people I knew with kids! Truthfully I think you love pretty much everyone, but I have enjoyed seeing you make best friends. Its fun to see you imagine in the same world with other people- you even talk in "squirrel language" with one of your best friends. It's a good thing you have the best kindergarten teacher in the world, because squirrel is cuter in small doses.   

This past year involved fewer adventures for us, a big trip for a baby shower, and a beautiful wedding, but not so many museums or zoos. You were kind and you were patient with me while I was very sick and you practiced you independence while I was on bed rest.  

It was hard to not be able to do as much with you, hard on both of us because were used to coming to me for everything. However, it warmed my heart to see you grow so close with your Papa. You guys dug for dinosaurs, went camping and hiking, ran for groceries, he even took you for your yearly check up and your "how to be a big sister" class. 

I am incredibly impressed by the big sister you have become. You love Adeline with all your heart. In a year filled with so much loss I was worried you might focus on the negatives of having a new sibling but you have jumped in with all your  heart. You have been enthusiastic about everything involving Adeline, even including changing diapers. You are proud to show her off to your friends, and you delighted in being able to feed her her first baby food and take her down her first slide.     

I hope with every aspect of my heart that you continue to love your sister the way you do now. I have wanted you for so long to be blessed with this bond and it worth all the struggle to make it happen. 


Growing up has made you even sassier- this has been a year with no small amount of backtalk. You recognize when things aren't quite fair and you are willing to tell us- like the time Papa asked you to get him a glass of water and you said "no because you can do it yourself, you are just being lazy". For the record you were punished for being disrespectful, but it was hard to do because you were actually right. I hope you grow up to speak out about injustices- just maybe not to your parents. 

We knock heads a lot these days baby girl, but remember I love you with all my heart. I love everything about you. Sometimes I struggle as a mother because I am tired or I don't understand your point of view, or your vision but I am proud of who you are, I am proud that you have a vision and an opinion!  

Cordelia your heart is so big, your spirit is so adventurous, and your imagination is so vast. I can't wait to see what this next year brings us.  

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