Dear Cordelia

Dear Cordelia,

And just like that you are five. Last night I was thinking about the night before your birth- It is a powerful thing to know that the next day your family of two will become a family of three- to know that you are spending your last night as non parents. It's  hard to imagine parenthood; sure you can make lists of your parenting "dos and don'ts" - many of which drastically change once you are in the thick of things, and you can imagine yourself pushing a stroller or going to the park- but you really cannot imagine being a parent. Once your Papa and I held you in our arms our world changed, its a fuller, more joyess, and at times more sleepless, world. 

In the past five years we have learned just how strong the emotions of love, fear, and pride can be. The first time I held you and marveled at your tiny tiny fingers and your perfect little nose I learned what it is for a mother to love her child. Over the next few days we learned what fear really feels like- and as we have watched you grow we have learned to be truly proud. 

Cordelia, I am amazed, and proud, by your empathy towards others. Your concern for the comforts of your baby dolls, your interest in the feelings of our cats, the time you take to try to understand and help your shy friends, and your deep compassion for me when I am sad or overwhelmed. I will never forget the time that I was overwhelmed and sad and you told me that you would help if I could tell you the instructions because we are family and family helps each other. I am often struck by how grown up your feelings seem to be and as your mother I try my best to help you understand them. You are soo excited by people, you love with all your heart and you enjoy making friends.  I hope you will always confide in me and allow me to help. 

This year we have continued to watch your interests grow! Batman, Barbies, Princesses, bugs, fairies, and space- you love it all. You watch Miss Fischer's Murder Mysteries, Blacksmith shows, How's it Made, and Bones with just as much enthusiasm as you do Doc McStuffins and Berenstain Bears. As I spent hours studying for school you sat with me learning the names of the bones and asking detailed questions about the inner workings of the body. Poor Pig gets check ups on a regular basis because you love to listen to his heart, and often when we eat chicken you ask me to name the bones for you.  

You like to try new foods, your favorite vegetable is asparagus, and you eat tomatoes by the handful. You love sushi, cucumbers, pickles, dried seaweed, shrimp, chicken wings, salmon, and all the fruit. You delighted in every picking adventure you went on with Shauna- you still love the funny shaped strawberries the best. 

This year we made it a priority to visit Museums. We have sat in art galleries drawing our own interpretations of  the art on the walls, we have practiced the poses of the statues, and we have learned about the natural world and it's wonders. 

You started asking to sew- in fact you helped make this skirt. We can only do a little at a time before you get frustrated, but you always ask to do more later. 

I am amazed that you have started building memories- this year you told me all about things we did last year. You wanted to recreate events as traditions and you were soo much more excited for holidays and birthdays because you remembered the ones before. As your Mama I feel soo much more pressure to make sure we build good traditions now! 

 You are the funniest kid I know. You have started telling bad knock knock jokes, your favorite number is 1800 (and there are always "like 1800" of anything). You enjoy saying words like "actually" and you say them all the time. Sentences like "Ah, I got you" come out of your mouth, and sometimes your stuffed animals really like to swear- but I am not allowed to laugh at that.

I hope that you always know how important creativity is. You put together costumes, and  tell me wild and detailed stories, you sing (you have even started remembering the words to songs on the radio- especially this one) and dance- I hope that is always you, and that you never change. 

Watching you grow is my greatest adventure. I am learning just as much about myself- my own strengths and weaknesses- as I am learning about you, but I have to say it's more fun to learn about you then it is to learn about me! 

I have no doubt that this upcoming year will be just as big as the last five, that we will grow and change as a family in ways we cannot imagine- just like we could't imagine what it would be like to be your parents. I love you and I look forward to this adventure with you and your Papa.